Magic to Muggles
by Ali Phantom
Summary: Hey everyone your watching Magic to Muggles,I'm your host, Ali Phantom. Join me as I kidnap, I mean, invite Harry Potter characters and interview them with my chapterly guest host. takes place during GOF This chapters guest: Santa?, LIVE From NYC!
1. Episode 1 part 1: Harry Potter

_Hey everyone, as celebration for April Fools day, I'm airing: Magic to Muggles, my new comedy fic. I'm looking for episodely guest hosts. If your interested, check out the my profile page in the story section._

_I'm only gonna do the summary once, so pay attention!_

_Full Summary: Hey, and welcome to my show, Magic to Muggles. I'm your host, Ali Phantom. Join me as I kidnap, I mean, invite Harry Potter characters and "interview" them on my talk show, Magic to Muggles! Comedy, though does follow the book some. Takes place during Goblet of Fire book. Broadcasting LIVE from NEW YORK CITY!_

_And the disclaimer thingy._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and sadly, I never will. I also don't own Danny Phantom, no matter how hard I wish, it's just not gonna happen, people._

_Now please enjoy, Magic to Muggles!_

* * *

"Hey everyone, I'm Ali Phantom and your watching: Magic to Muggles!" 

The crowd cheered as Ali finished that sentence.

"Now, let's meet our first guest," said Ali "Harry Potter, the boy who lived!" The crowd cheered again as a 14 year old boy in black wizarding robes appeared on stage.

"What the, where am I?" he said.

Ali smiled evilly. "I'm Ali Phantom, and your on-"

"Magic to Muggles!" yelled the crowd. Harry's eyes widened.

"Wait, what? Your broadcasting this to Muggles?" he said slightly panicked.

Ali sighed. "Your on Magic to Muggles, my talk show, I made you appear here so I can interview you, and yes, we're broadcasting live worldwide."

Harry gasped. "Is this legal?"

Ali smirked as she remembered what had happened the week before.

* * *

_Ali was walking down a dirty London street one day looking for something important. She found it._

_Ali walked into the old, broken red telephone booth and closed the door. The phones apparatus was hanging crooked on the side of the telephone box. She pulled out a piece paper and held the receiver in one hand and dialed with the other. She dialed in the numbers 6,2,4,4,2 as she read them off the sheet. A cool female voice spread through the booth. _

"_Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business." Ali held the phone to her ear. _

"_Ali Phantom, future talk show host, I'm here to speak with the Minister of Magic." "Thank you." said the voice. " Visitor, please take the badge and attach it to the front of your robe." Ali looked up at the ceiling. _

"_I don't have a robe." _

"_Oh," said the voice uncertainly. "Just attach it to your shirt then." There was a clink and the metal chute that usually let out change released a square, silver badge that said: **Ali Phantom, talking with the Minister** on it. She pinned it onto her light blue t-shirt as the voice spoke again. _

"_Visitor to the Ministry, you are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk, which is located at the far end of the Atrium."_

_The floor to the phone booth shuddered and slowly sank through the earth. About a minute later, the voice spoke yet again. _

"_The Ministry of Magic wishes you a pleasant day."_

_The door swung open and a very long hall that was very well furnished was revealed. However she ignored it so she would fail a test about it if there ever was one. _

'_Not paying attention to this stuffs going to come back to haunt me someday' she thought pointlessly. _

_Halfway down the hall, she almost bumped into a huge fountain with a tall wizard, a witch, a centaur, a goblin, and a house-elf. Coming out of the ends of the two wands, the tips of the goblins hat, centaur's arrow, and the house-elf's ears flew glimmering streams of water. She brushed of imaginary dust off here black jeans and continued down the hall. _

_It got very noisy as she went deeper because there were footsteps from witches and wizards coming in to work who were also going towards the golden gates at the end of the hall. _

_She was passing a large desk to the left of the gate marked security when a burly man walked out. _

"_Hey kid, I need to check your wand." Ali turned around. "Why?"_

"_Because I do." said the security guy. Ali shrugged. "Can't argue with that logic." _

_She walked towards the desk. "Alright," said security guy. "Put your wand here." he said pulling out a golden scale. "Oh, I don't have a wand." Ali said mater-of-factly. The security guy frowned , studying her carefully._

'_She's just some stupid teen trying to talk to the Minister. The guy at the reception desk said that no one qualified to come in anyways, and he threw 'em out. Is he allowed to do even do that? Oh well, what harm could it do?' he shrugged. "Alright, that just makes my job easier." Ali nodded and went through the gates. She wrestled through the crowd and made her way to the reception desk._

"_Hi, can you tell me where the Minister of Magic's office is please?" The receptionist chewed on his gum. "Do you have a reservation?" Ali thought for a second. _

"_I have a button don't I?" The receptionist looked at the square on her shirt and grinned. _

"_Good, I thought I'd have to throw you out like those other dweebs." He said pointing to a glass door that went outside. On the other side of the door, Voldemort and a bunch of Death Eaters were banging on it demanding to see the Minister. "Nasty temper they've got." The gum guy who will now be called Gerf because of his name tag led Ali through another hallway and stopped in front of a big golden door. " What's up with you people and yellow?" asked Ali. Gerf shrugged. "I think the decorator was a magic banana." Ali nodded. "Yeah, that would make sense." Gerf left and Ali opened the door. The office was very big with yet more yellow covering everything. 'the magic banana strikes again.' thought Ali sadly. Her attention turned to the desk in the back of the room where the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, was sitting in a chair tossing a bowler hat into the air. The door shut behind her and made enough noise that the Minister noticed. _

"_Ack!" exclaimed Fudge almost dropping his hat. "Who are you, what do you want?" he demanded. Ali grinned. "I'm Ali Phantom, and I want your permission to air a T.V. show about Harry Potter." she said dropping a file onto his desk. Cornelius frowned. "What kind of name is Ali Phantom?" Ali scowled at him. "Well I'm not named after chocolate." Cornelius frowned some more._

"_Leave my name out of this." he said angrily. "Leave me and my hat alone." he finished spinning around in his spinny office chair. Ali glared daggers at him before two bluish rings traveled up and down her body. Her jeans and t-shirt disappeared and were replaced with skinny black jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt with a white AP on the front while her black hair was transformed into a silvery white and brownish eyes turned icy blue. She had completed to transformation into Ali Phantom, the 3rd halfa. Ali's hands glowed a light blue and she shot an ecto-blast at a lamp which then exploded. "I said, I WANNA AIR MY SHOW!" she yelled angrily. Fudge sank into his chair. "What do you think Hattie?" he whispered to the inanimate object. "Should I let the girl with the creepy powers win?" Ali sighed. "This is boring." said an annoyed Ali. She turned intangible and overshadowed the Minister.  
"Yes, I would love to sign your 300 page contract concerning your show and your no lawsuit/arrest/and get-out-of-jail-free-for-me policy." said 'Fudge' happily. Ali jumped out of the Minister and transformed back into her human half as she sat in the chair across from Fudges. "What happened, and why do I feel like signing 300 pages of incredibly boring paperwork?" asked Fudge as he groaned loudly. "Because," said Ali. "You were about to approve my new T.V. show, and you already said yes." the Minister stared at her for a moment. "Uh, right, I'll start signing then." For the next ten minutes, he signed every piece of the boring paperwork without reading it. "There you go, yer all set." he said as he handed the file of legal papers back to Ali. Ali smiled. "Thanks" With that, Ali stepped out of the room, transformed into her alter ego, and flew back to the studio to set up for the show. Back in Fudges office, he sighed. 'Not reading that 300 page contract is going to come back and haunt me someday.' he thought sadly._

_

* * *

_

"I said, is this legal?" repeated Harry. Ali grinned happily. "It is now, now let's start the interview now shall we?" the crowd cheered.

"No," said Harry suddenly. The crowd groaned with disappointment.

"I'm not doing an interview right now, I need to get to Transfiguration." Ali's eyes flashed blue.

"Yes you will be interviewed." Harry frowned. "No, you can't make me because I don't wanna be interviewed right now." Ali's eyes flashed again.

"I can make you, you know why?" Harry shook his head slowly. "I can make you because I have scary security people around." she pointed off stage where an armed S.W.A.T. team was guarding the door. Harry gulped. "What do you want to know, and how fast do you want to know it?" he said quickly. Ali grinned evilly again. "Good, let the interview, begin!"

* * *

_Alright, that's the first chappie, if anyone wants to be a guest host See story section of profile for details. I need some questions to ask Harry, if I get them, it shoudn't be too long until the next chapter. Tell me what you guys think so far._

_Ali Phantom_


	2. Episode 1 part 2: Co host: Fulcon

_Hey guys, guess what, I had **4** reviews for the last chapter! I feel so special! _

_Now I suggest you guys read my profile because I updated it, I will be using some of my powers and I'll be mentioning pocket dimensions that are now listed in the basics section._

_**Disclaimer**: I don't own Danny Phantom. Harry Potter, Warner bros productions, or the Today Show show._

_**This chapters co-host**: Fulcon_

_**Review replies**: _

_(Anonymous reviewer): Thanks, I'll try to keep this show as funny as I can_

**Gensengisbad **_(Anonymous reviewer): I can't understand you, I would if you could please use actual words._

**Nonamei Midnight**_: I'm planning on making another fic like this one except I'll be interviewing Danny Phantom characters. And they aren't captives, they're "guests" _

**Fulcon**_: Read the underlined above please._

_Fulcan's look is as described as he put it in a PM and the Magic to Muggles sign that I added is posted on Imageshack. Link in the story section of my profile._

_And that concludes the Author note please enjoy M2M episode 1, part 2_

* * *

A blue sign with a yellow and orange bulbs around the border flashes the words Magic to Muggles in brown to the audience. Under the sign, a black haired girl with black jeans and a light blue t-shirt is sitting in a bright blue arm chair on a stage. 

"Hey everyone," she said happily. "Welcome back to-" 'Magic to Muggles!' the audience yelled.

"That's right. I'm your host, Ali Phantom, broadcasting live from Rockefeller Center, New York City!" 'YAY!" the crowd cheered happily along with the occasional 'Hi mom!'.

"For those of you just joining us, for this episode I'm interviewing: Harry Potter, the boy who lived!"

The audience cheered again as the camera turns to the left and zooms in showing a 14 year old boy sitting in a green arm chair with his arms crossed and looking very annoyed. The camera turned back to Ali.

"Alright everyone, I took a look around and I found a co-host for this episode. Please welcome, Fulcon!"

The audience clapped as a brown haired teenager with black denim jeans and a grey jacket covering a green t-shirt that had '(Insert Slogan Here)' on the front appeared on the stage.

"What, where am I?" he asked looking around the stage. His hazel eyes met Ali. "You!" he gasped "You're the host of that show that kidnapped Harry Potter!" Ali smirked. "Is there a problem with that, Fulcon?" Fulcon shook his head and smiled. "Nope, I wanted to join you." Ali nodded and smiled. "Alrighty then, welcome to-" 'Magic to Muggles!' repeated the audience.

Ali motioned for Fulcon to sit in a orange chair that sat next to hers. As he did so, Ali spoke.

"So Fulcon, before we get started on Harry over there,"

she motioned to Harry who was sitting in his chair muttering something about teaching Ali Quidditch and hexing the bludgers to go after her.

Which resulted in him being zapped by a small, blue ghost ray from Ali's finger.

"Ow" yelped Harry.

As Harry started complaining about being zapped, Fulcon blinded him with a little but insanely bright light from his finger.

"ACK! The light, it BURNS!" groaned Harry. He buried his head in his hands and groaned.

Ali turned to Fulcon. "I'm going to interview you first. Now I'm guessing that the light that just blinded Harry was the light bulb power you were telling me about."

Fulcon frowned.

"I would say something back at you, but you could kill me easily." Ali smirked "And don't you forget it." she cleared her throat gaining back her professional-like voice.

"Now Fulcon, you are one of those people who decided to have powers online, right?" Fulcon nodded. "Yeah, I have powers."

Ali tilted her head. "Now what kind of powers do you have, exactly?"

Fulcon straightened up. "Well, in my teen form I have light powers. Light as in 'Ooh-look-at-the-light-bulb' kind of light. I can move the light around me to make illusions, make myself invisible, and I also have an all-mighty form where I turn into a gold gas, I mean energy-"

Harry laughed, "You turn into gas, what kinda power is that?"

Fulcon glared. "At least I have powers, you just have magic."

Harry frowned. "I can make a pretty light with magic, watch." Harry pulled out his wand. "Lumos." a small bright light came out of the tip of the wand.

'Ooooh' the audience watched in awe as the light continued to shine. Fulcon raised an eyebrow.

"Lumos looks different in real life then in the mov-OW!" he exclaimed as Ali zapped him. "What was that for?" Ali sighed and then whispered.

"Harry can't know about the movie, it will-"

"What," asked Fulcon, "Harry's in a movie, big deal. Why can't he know?"

Harry shot up out of his chair.

"Wait a second, I starred in a movie? No wonder when I looked at those girls they fainted, I'm a MOVIE STAR!" he finished striking a heroic pose.

"That's why." Ali said to herself sadly.

Fulcon sighed and blinded Harry again. "OW, what was that for?" said Harry grabbing his face again. Fulcon looked at him. "You aren't a movie star, you just look like Daniel Radcliffe you idiot."

Harry blinked at Fulcon. "Who's Daniel Radcliffe?"

Ali sighed. "I'm not running a show about the movie, Fulcon. This Harry is from Goblet of Fire, the _book_."

"You mean _movies _as in more then one." smirked Fulcon.

"Stop mocking me Fulcon, I command you!" Ali said pointing her finger at him. Harry looked up again.

"Wait, movie_s_, I thought I was just the star of 1 cheap movie."

Fulcon looked up and grinned like mad. "Not just _1_ cheap movie, but 2 cheap movies and 2 more adequate ones, and then there's one coming out this July."

Harry's eye's widened. "What are they about?"

Fulcon grinned some more. " They're about you and your days at Hogwarts. With Ron and Hermione of course."

Harry frowned. "But _I'm _the boy who lived, why isn't it all about me?" Fulcon shrugged while Ali sighed and went backstage to get an orange soda.

"Wait," said Harry suddenly. "You said there were 4 movies right?" Fulcon nodded and motioned for Harry to continue, which he did.

"What if I saw the 4th movie, I could get all of my test answers ahead of time!" he said excitedly.

Fulcon nodded. "Yeah your right, let me go get my copy of-" Ali rushed back and cut him off.

"Fulcon, Harry can't watch the 4th movie. If he sees it, then he'll change his actions, which will change the book, which will change the script of the movie, which -since it's already out- will destroy the space-time continuum!"

Fulcon looked at Harry and vice versa and looked back at Ali. "So?" they asked simultaneously. Ali yelled in frustration and walked towards backstage.

Fulcon turned back to Harry.

"So Harry, my copy is-" "AAAAAAAAAHH!" He was cut of by Harry screaming at the sight of something behind Fulcon. Fulcon turned around and then joined Harry in screaming.

A giant wall of water was rushing towards the two, but the scary part was that Ali was standing under it with her eyes glowing an angry blue.

"FULCON, HARRY, NO DESTROYING THE UNIVERSE!" with that, the water came down on them and everything in the studio went…white and blue.

About a minute later, Fulcon resurfaced and a wet Harry came up behind him floating on one of the arm chairs.

Coughing, Fulcon swam over to Harry's make-shift raft and climbed aboard. Harry looked at him as he climbed on.

"Fulcon, are you okay?" Fulcon stared at him.

"Yes Harry," he said in a overly cheery voice. "I just got hit by a cubic mile of water, I'm perfectly fine, HOW DO YOU THINK I AM, POTTER?!?"

Harry edged himself back on to the edge of the chair nervously and sighed.

"How long do you think we'll be here?" Fulcon shrugged and looked out at the now flooded studio. "Dunno, until Ali comes and destroys us I guess. I don't even see the audience anymore, let alone her."

Harry dropped to his knee's and looked up. "

"What did we do to deserve this?" he wailed dramatically.

Fulcon walked over, slapped him, and grabbed his shoulders.

"Get a holda yourself man. We're in a battle with Ali Phantom, this is life or death here! We have no time to ask the ceiling a question."

Harry nodded and calmed down. Fulcon let go of Harry and looked around the flooded studio. Nothing but debris.

"Now, let's think about how we can get out of this mess."

* * *

1 hour later…

* * *

A small note in a bottle floated towards the chair. Harry looked down and reached down and pulled it out of the water and took out the note. After reading it. 

"Uh, Fulcon, you might wanna read this."

Fulcon grabbed the note from Harry and read it.

_Hi there Fulcon, I'm sorry I had to hit you with a ¼ cubic mile of water, but I couldn't have you destroy the universe. To advance this episodes plot, I'm gonna make you a proposition. If you and Harry can make it across the room in 1 hour and 10 minutes of when I first launch my water attack, I'll clean up all of the water, debris, and I'll continue the interview. If you fail, YOU have to clean up this water before the Today Show crew gets here or you will be doomed to the wrath of the Unemployment Lady!_

Fulcon stared at the page with disbelief. Harry approached Fulcon. "Hey, you okay?" Fulcon stared a bit more before responding.

He laughed at the paper and handed it back to Harry.

"The best she could come up with was firing me. I mean, come on." Fulcon laughed a bit before Harry cut him off. "Uh, Fulcon, there's another paragraph." still laughing a bit, Fulcon took the paper, flipped over the other side, and read it. He stopped laughing.

_The Unemployment lady is me, and I have a nasty habit of losing my ex-co-host in my second pocket dimension. The one where I keep my mutant dog, Benji. _

_Keep this in mind. _

_-Ali Phantom_

_P.S. Don't worry, the audience is safe._

* * *

_Yay for chapter 2! Also, Fulcon said he would be willing to "answer any questions and reviews that have to do with me." Now, review! Reviews make me want write the next script._


	3. Episode 1 part 3: Co host: Cassie

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* * *

_

Oh yeah, 123 hits!… but only 2 new reviews, come on people.

_Reasons To Be Happy: The show is not written in script, I developed a plot while I was fighting off writers block (AWESOME), I didn't leave it to rot forever, so no whining._

_Review Replies-----_

_Em Phantom: I think that's the longest review I've ever gotten. I grant you the wish._

_Fulcon: I WILL NOT LET THIS DIE! I got a case of the dreaded writers block and a __very_ busy schedule, but I will continue this.

End of Review Replies---- Short, I know but I told you, 2 reviews last chapter. Review, and cookies for all there shall be… stupid Yoda and the annoying you are talking weird you do…

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Danny Phantom, Harry Potter, The Today Show, Live with Regis and Kelly, Nintendo, Fulcon, Em Phantom, Em Phantom's character Cassidy Peterson,

Em Phantom's character has been changed from Lorin to, well, I'll just let you read for now.

* * *

_**Last time on Magic to Muggles… **_

A small note in a bottle floated towards the chair. Harry looked down and reached down and pulled it out of the water and took out the note. After reading it.

"Uh, Fulcon, you might wanna read this."

Fulcon grabbed the note from Harry and read it.

_Hi there Fulcon, I'm sorry I had to hit you with a ¼ cubic mile of water, but I couldn't have you destroy the universe. To advance this episodes plot, I'm gonna make you a proposition. If you and Harry can make it across the room in 1 hour and 10 minutes from when I first launched my water attack, I'll clean up all of the water and debris and continue the interview. If you fail, YOU have to clean up this water __before__ the Today Show crew gets here or you will be doomed to the wrath of the Unemployment Lady!_

Fulcon stared at the page with disbelief. Harry approached Fulcon. "Hey, you okay?"

Fulcon stared a bit more before responding.

He laughed at the paper and handed it back to Harry.

"The best she could come up with was firing me. I mean, come on." Fulcon laughed a bit before Harry cut him off. "Uh, Fulcon, there's another paragraph." still laughing a bit, Fulcon took the paper, flipped over the other side, and read it.

He stopped laughing.

_The Unemployment lady is me, and I have a nasty habit of losing my ex-co-hosts in my second pocket dimension. The one where I keep my mutant dog, Benji. _

_Keep this in mind._

_-Ali Phantom_

_P.S. Don't worry, the audience is safe._

* * *

The clip finished and the nice and dry audience clapped while the camera zoomed in on Ali as she walked onto a stage with a wood floor. She stopped in the middle of it and faced her studio audience.

"Hey everyone, sorry about that. I hope no one was damaged during the teleportation." Ali apologized.

She walked upstage(1) and sat behind a large wooden desk in a black chair. The walls were red and there were black shelves on them with various knick-knacks. Several potted plants lie in the corners and behind the desk was two cream colored armchairs and behind _that_, was an elevated step with a red carpet. And behind _that _was a city backdrop framed with a window with grass outside of it.

"As you _probably_ already know," Ali said moving the three mugs from the desk onto the floor. She replaced them by putting her elbows on the desk and intertwined her fingers under her chin.

"Fulcon and Harry were going to destroy the space-time continuum by watching _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_-" the audience clapped again. Ali raised an eyebrow.

"Which is bad." The audience stopped clapping and gave a long and dramatic ooh.

"Riiight, anyways, while Fulcon and Harry try to get across the other studio, I have with me another co-host. Please welcome Em Phantom's representative, Cassidy Peterson!"

The audience clapped as a girl appeared on the stage. Her hair was a dirty blonde with lavender highlights tied back with a denim ribbon that criss-crossed until the end where it formed a bow. Her clothes consisted of a purple halter top and blue jeans with lavender colored sneakers.

"Um, what just happened?" She said confused. She turned around to where Ali sat.

"Hey, you're Ali Phantom!" she said with wide eyes. "You write that show about you kidnapping Harry Potter characters on fanfiction . net!"

Ali sighed. "Yes, that's me. And it's not kidnapping, it's borrowing… But yeah, I don't write the show, my human counter part Alison does. I'm just an online representative of her."

"Cool, I'm a representative of Em Phantom, sooo -"

"No, you're a representative of Em Phantom's online counter part who's a counter part for an offline version of Em Phantom."

"So I'm a counter part of a counter part?"

"I think so…"

"Okay…."

"Anyways, let's do a quick interview with Cassie here shall we?" said Ali to the audience who in response clapped as Cassie took a seat in a purple arm chair across from Ali.

"So Cassie, like Fulcon, the person you're representing decided to give their online counter part a power. What is your power?" she said to Cassie.

I can go invisible." said Cassie.

Ali gave an acknowledging nod "Sweet, now what's some of your favorite stuff?"

Cassie grinned. "I like karate, acting, and chocolate chips, they're the best things on earth!"

Ali raised an eyebrow. "You act and do karate?"

Cassie kept the grin. "Yep, I love acting."

"Really? I'm an actress myself incase you or the audience didn't check my profile."

"Cool, and karate?"

"Did a year of it or two. I do some martial arts now though."

"Cool, I can show you a few karate moves if you want."

"Really? That sounds great! Audience, what do you think, do you guys wanna see some moves?" Clapping was heard. "I'll take that as a yes."

Cassie stood up and walked over to an area clear of chairs and garbage left by the crew from _Live With Regis and Kelly_. The camera zoomed in on Cassie as she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She took a stance and a dramatic music started playing from the speakers and- wait, music?

"Alright, who's playing with my soundboard?" said an annoyed Ali (Hell hath no fury) as she turned around. But nothing could be seen in the dark corners of the studio where the soundboard lie. Hence, nobody noticed a dark figure laugh softly. _'Now the fun begins…' _and disappeared into a swirling vortex.

Seeing nothing, she turned back to the audience and her new guest host.

"Um, okay," Ali's annoyed state disappeared (Thank goodness) "Anyways. Cassie, the moves?"

"Oh right." She took another deep breath and a kick flew out at the empty air and she…stumbled slightly. "Eh heh."

She regained composure and a wild flurry of punches and kicks flew into the air. A kick would lash out at the invisible opponent then be replaced with a punch- usually they would miss the target but still- and then the process would repeat itself. At the end of the sparing with… well, air, Cassie was drenched in sweat (it went on for a good four minutes), had lost one of her hair ties, and a shoe.

"Um, that wasn't very good was it?" she asked sheepishly.

Ali stared then shrugged. "It's okay, I've seen a worse. You should see me when I do Boxing on Wii Sports, I tire myself out the-"

"You have a Wii?!?" shouted a member of the audience standing in surprise. Ali stared.

"If I say yes will you maul me with questions?" A few nods and 'yeahs' from the audience was her answer.

"Theeen no…" The audience members shrugged and sat back down. _'Whew, that was close'_ She turned her attention back to Cassie. Ali studied the tired teen and clapped her hands twice.

"HAIR AND MAKE-UP NOW!" Ali yelled loudly. 8 seconds later, a stream of people came out from a copper colored door stage left. "Strange, that was slower then usual." mused Ali as they came out.

The Hair and Make Up crew ran towards Ali and picked her up and started carrying her to the her dressing room.

"NOT ME, CASSIE!" she yelled at the crew. The crew dropped Ali and she landed on the ground with an 'Oof' while they swarmed Cassie.

"Hey, what are you-" Cassie panicked as they picked her up a good seven feet in the air and started towards the "Guest Host" dressing room.

"Don't worry Cass, they're just gonna fix your hair and stuff." she yelled into the crowd as she got up again. She sighed as the crew disappeared with her guest host.

"That poor, poor girl…" she said shaking her head sadly.

Ali dusted herself off and sat back in her chair. Ali regained composure and got ready to continue the show as if her guest host wasn't just hauled off by a rabid Hair and Make Up team.

"Eh hem, right… while Cassie gets fixed up, we'll get back to Fulcon and Harry. As we saw in the clip, Fulcon and Harry are trying to get across the other studio within ten minutes from when we last heard from them which was…" she looked off stage at a cue card held by a red haired member of the crew. " 2:38 PM, thank you Audrey." the Carrot top nodded and left to attend to something or another in need of attention.

"So, let's get back to Fulcon and Harry back at studio 1." A screen with the word LIVE in the upper-right corner was lowered to the left of Ali.

The camera zooms into the screen and see Fulcon and Harry still holding the letter.

Camera zooms back out and looks at Ali.

"Ummm, just a second folks." She said as she got up and the screen went back into the ceiling. She walked past 'ex-battle field' used by Cassie moments ago and into the wings backstage.

"Hello? Hey Alison, unfreeze them, we're done with the introduction and stuff. Come on!" said Ali attempting to contact her offline self.

* * *

A girl offline was coming down the stairs and saw a computer on.

"What the, I was sure I turned that thing off." she muttered under her breath. As she neared the appliance and realized that an unknown force was using Microsoft word.

'_What the?…' _She sat on the stool in front of the computer and watched the words form… Unfortunately, the words were made up of strange symbols like presents and stop signs... (2)

"What the heck?" Alison said. She looked up at the font type in the corner and frowned. _'Webdings, so that's what this stuff is…. ' _She opened the font menu and changed it to Arial and looked back at the screen.

_**Hey Alison, it's Ali Phantom. I know you're there, now unfreeze Fulcon and Harr-**_

_**why are we in Webdings?**_

More (now legible) words appeared on the screen.

_**Alison, bring up the M2M file and unfreeze Fulcon and Harry, we finished**_

_**the flashback a while ago and the audience was looking at a frozen "Live**_

_**Feed" scene of the boys.**_

Alison looked up the file and opened it, then stared at the text she last typed.

"The camera zooms into the screen and see Fulcon and Harry still holding the letter."

'_Oh, that's what you're talking about.' _

_**Yeah, now unfreeze them.**_

'_Okay, that was creepy' _thought Alison with wide eyes.

_**Whatever, now type!**_

Alison raised an eyebrow and reached towards the keyboard...

* * *

"That's better," said Ali as she walked back to the stage and the audience clapped again. Ali's turn to raise her eyebrow.

"You know, you don't have to clap whenever I come onstage…" A silence swept through the studio.

"Uh, right… restart the tape!" she yelled towards backstage. Right on queue, the screen lowered again and the boys were visible once more.

"Oh dang," said Fulcon. "Harry, what time is it?" Harry felt his pants pocket and his eyes widened. "Fulcon," said Harry. "My wand is missing." He turned around and shoved his arm in between the cushion and the arm of the chair.

"What!?!" yelled Fulcon. "You can't have lost your wand, that was like, our only chance to get to the other side of the room before Ali kills us!" Harry glared at Fulcon.

"What about you?" he said loudly. "Mr. I-can-turn-into-energy-and-am-all-powerful. What about that?"

Fulcon sighed. "I can only turn into my all powerful mode when I'm in space. Or else the Earth's gravitational field will tear me apart."

Harry sighed as well. "Well then, I guess we're doomed..." Suddenly, Harry's expression lit up. Fulcon raised an eyebrow. "What's going on with you?" Harry grinned.

"I just realized," he said smugly. "Ali can't shove me in her evil Pocket Dimension. I'm a star, her ratings will fall so low, her show will shut down and my fans will demand that I be released." Fulcon smirked. "Clever dude, very clever." Harry looked away. "I'm not sure what to do with you though..." he laughed nervously. Fulcon stared blankly at the boy.

Then he snapped.

Fulcon lunged at Potter with such ferocity, Voldemort seemed almost tame to Harry at the moment. After a few seconds, Fulcon had one foot on Harry's chest and a bright beam emitting from his fist.

Apparently being whisked away without prior knowledge then hit with a tidal wave, then traped on a couch thing with a teen wizard was a little much to take in at once.

Harry's eyes widened. "Whu- what the heck is that thing?" he said panicked.

"What, this?" said Fulcon calmly examining his limb. "This, my famous little friend, is the light power that I _do_ have in my teen form. I can not only bend light, but I can concentrate so that there is light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation in my very hand."

Harry frowned forgetting the situation he was in. "What?"

Fulcon rolled his eyes. "It's a laser you moron."

Harry glared. "Hey man, I only have a 5th grade education."

Fulcon raised an eyebrow. "5th grade, I thought you were still in school at Hogwarts."

He took his foot off the star.

"Yeah," continued Harry. "I am still in school, a _wizarding _school. Wizards don't care about lasers and such, if they need light or something blown up they use magic."

Fulcon nodded. "I see." he said thoughtfully. Harry did only go to school until he was 11. How very sad indeed...

"Oh wait," he said suddenly. "I'm still mad at you." he said pointing at Harry with his glowing weapon.

**Is this the end for our melodramatic heroes- No no, that won't work...**

**Will Fulcon destroy the Potter boy and- No the ratings will drop...**

**How about-**

"Wait a second," Yelled Fulcon to the ceiling. "What's going on here?"

**Um, nothing**

"No wait," shouted Harry. "Who are you?"

**-sigh- I'm the cliffhanger. You're not supposed to be able to hear me.**

"The cliffhanger, what do you mean cliffhanger?" said Fulcon angrily taking away his weapon.

**Wuh oh, ALI!**

"Ali," said Harry. "Is Ali in on this?" He stood up and stared upwards.

**Uh, ALI, help please!**

A rumbling was heard and Fulcon and Harry stared at the ceiling trying to find source of the noise and hopefully an explanation.

**Alright, s**aid a female voice. **What's going on he- wait a sec. READER, why is the microphone hooked up to the WRONG STUDIO?!? **The boys looked at each other and back to the ceiling.

**Well- **started the cliffhanger. **I- um, you see I- **

**AUGH, never mind. Where's the technician?**

**Um, Jeremy is backstage fixing the air conditioning.**

**Tell him to get over here and, why is this still on? **There was a click and silence flowed everywhere.

Harry looked at Fulcon who was waiting for something more to happen. "Well, that was different..."

As the screen retracted, the audience clapped, and an annoyed Ali stepped out from backstage. She sighed and walked to sit in her chair behind the desk.

"Uh, we're having some technical difficulties back here as you saw on the feed. So Magic to Muggles will have a commercial break which shouldn't be to painstakingly long."

CRASH! A large metal gear rolled out from backstage where Ali came from moments ago.

Ali forced a smile. "Depending on how much construction needs to be done, I will get this show back on the road, please be patient..."

CLANG CRASH BOOM! Behind the hostess, the stage lights fell and went up in small flames.

She turned around and shot water from her fingers to put out the growing inferno.

Ali turned her head as far as she could.

"Uh, on second thought, maybe you guys should grab some lunch or something."

People in the audience shrugged and filed out of the studio one by one until they were gone.

Ali sighed and looked back at the drenched lighting system. Wordlessly, she walked off screen and came back a few moments later with a yellow hat and a construction belt with tools on it. Some of the stage crew came up behind her with determination etched on their face.

"Alright gang," said Ali with the same look on her face. "Let's do this."

* * *

(1) Upstage means away from the back wall and towards the audience.

(2) I did have Webdings on the page but the site changed it so it no longer exists.

Also, Reader is the guy's name, it's not you guys. I would never yell at you guys ^_^;;;;;;; -cough-

Anyway, that's it. *wipes sweat off forehead* it took me all night but I finally finished it. I hope you enjoyed it.

Forgive me for the long wait for this? Cassie is okay, she'll return probably next chapter. But I do need another co-host if anyone's interested. PM me if you are. The more co-hosts the better. Read submission instructions in my profile. Later plot involves all co-host's taking on, well, you'll see... Oh what the heck. I'll give you a quick peek at what will happen after everything is done.

SNEAKPEEK--

Ali ended the episode with a smile. Everything was great, nothing could go wrong now. She walked off stage and went outside. New York sure was amazing. But it was getting late so she turned to go home. She felt the warm energy flow through her vains telling her that Alison was ready to send her home.

_'Home' _she thought happily. She closed her eyes when suddenly, something rammed into her side she gasped in surprise. '_What the..._' She looked to her left to face her attacker when a bright light enveloped her body obscuring her vision. All she saw was a dark figure with an aura that suggested anger and hate.

There was another light and Ali stood in the middle of a silvery metal looking building. It looked almost like the inside of a huge spacecraft. "Where am I?" she said quietly.

"Hello Ali Phantom." said a cold voice from behind her. Ali turned and saw her. "Y-you, but I thought-"

"Yes." said the mysteirious girl angrily. "You all thought many things but apparently you didn't expect me, to come back..."

* * *

That's it, something along the lines of that will happen in a later chapter. Then the real fun will begin (I told you I had a plot). Probably after I interview Voldemort. Remember, more reviews and new reviewers means a faster update. I also have it set so that anonomous people can review. If you don't have an account you can still review.

~Ali Phantom


	4. Episode 1 part 4:Christmas Guest: Santa

Alright everyone.this is Merry Christmas from Ali Phantom! I got waaaaaaay to many presents this year. But they are really good presents, not a hundred cheap ones but a bunch of good ones. I got a portable DVD player, CD's, and a bunch of other stuff I won't mention because that would distract you from the story!

Review Replies--

Em Phantom: Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked the chapter!

Bakers Dozen: Thank you very much!

ToBeDecided: I will always continue, it might not be very fast but it's here isn't it!?! And don't come after me, if you do then where will my story be? I'm glad you like my story so far, I've still got the plot to put in though.

rapidashponyta: Spacecraft, what spacecraft? GET OUT OF MY HEAD!... Oh wait, yes it does. :D

End of Review Replies--

That's a bit more reviews. Anyways, DISCLAIMER TIME!

Disclaimer of doomness: I don't own Danny Phantom, Harry Potter, Warner Bros. studios, Live with Regis and Kelly, New York City, New York State, Christmas, a Santa Suit, Microsoft or any corporations involved with Microsoft (except Magic to Muggles), Santa Clause franchise, a flying reindeeer, or anything else.

This fanfiction is not to be used for health purposes and can harm your health if you attempt to figure out my brain. Side effects are generally mild and may include eye pain from staring at the screen to hard, laughing, giggling, snorting, smirking, grinning, smiling, guffawing, tears of laughter, and the occasional "What the heck are you laughing about" from friends and/or family.

Magic to Muggles is not for everyone, do not read Magic to Muggles if you: are allergic to laughing, are blind, were born yesterday, are stupid, don't like poking fun at Harry Potter, don't like Ali Phantom, don't like fanfictions, don't like reading, are insane, are going to steal this (which I will sick my dogs on you for), or are intimidated by death threats.

* * *

"Merry Christmas everyone!" Ali shouted happily to whoever would listen. This included the studio audience, the television audience, and the cast and crew of Magic to Muggles. 

Everyone was dressed in their normal attire, but with a Santa hat on their head.

Harry and Fulcon stood neat and clean in a line with the rest of the cast. They looked at each other.

"YES," they both yelled in delight. "We're out of that evil studio!" said Fulcon happily.

Cassie turned towards the two boys. "Harry, Fulcon, what happened, where are we and-" She raised an eyebrow. "Why are we all wearing Santa hats?"

The boys shrugged. "I don't know." said Harry. "Wait, how did you know our names?" asked Fulcon suspiciously.

"Well, you look like Daniel Radcliffe," she said pointing at Harry who sighed. "And you," she said pointing at Fulcon. "match the description given about Fulcon at Fanfiction . Net. And I also saw you both on the live feed."

Harry and Fulcon exchanged glances and looked back at Cassie. "What live feed?"

Cassie shook her head. "Never mind." she said not wanting to explain at the moment.

She held out her right hand. "I'm Cassie, the new co-host. Nice to meet both of you."

Fulcon arched an eyebrow and took her hand and stepped closer to her. "It's nice to meet _you_ too." he said acting cool.

Cassie yanked back her hand. "Yeah, whatever." she said turning away to pay attention to the show.

Fulcon turned back to Harry. "You see that, she wants me." he said grinning.

Harry frowned and sighed. "That line has been used way too many times for these situations."

Fulcon frowned deeper then Harry. "Yeah, but _she_ actually wants me." he said with pride.

Harry sighed and exchanged his frown with a blank expression. He knew he couldn't argue with Fulcon right now. He turned to Cassie and tapped her shoulder. "Cassie," he said. Cassie turned around. "Did Ali do anything to you, like she did us?" he said wondering if she felt their pain. Cassie shook her head.

"No, although an evil hair and makeup crew took me hostage." Harry raised both eyebrows. "How, why-" "Don't ask, trust me." she cut off quickly.

Everybody knew that was the end of the conversation so they turned their attention back to the show.

Ali hit the bell at the end of her hat and grinned. Apparently she had finished introducing the show.

"Since it's Christmas and all, I decided not to be completely heartless and update for Christmas."

Rings of gasps choked the building with disbelief clouding the air '_Ali…Updated?_'.

Ali frowned. "Oh shut up, all of you." She said in her English accent. She cleared her throat.

"Today, in honor of Christmas, we have a special guest. No matter who you are you know him, some of you love him, he came a long way to be here today. The one, the only, Santa Clause!"

Cheers were heard across the city, if not faint, but nether less it still counts.

Right next to Ali, with a twinkle, a flash, and a glimmer, Santa appeared.

His black boots shined under the studio lights, his signature red and white outfit fit him like a glove, his Santa hat bell hung down on his neck, and his nylon beard glistened… Wait, what?

Cassie stepped out the line which the cast and crew had been assembled and crossed her arms.

Santa(?) spoke.

"Heheh, so what do YOU want for Christmas little girl. I uh made my deliveries last night but uh if you were a good little gi-"

"You are NOT Santa." Said Cassie coolly. "For one, Santa doesn't exist, two, your beard is fake, and three, your pillows are showing." She pointed to his stomach.

The imposter stood still, thinking about what to say.

Let's take a look into his brain to see what he's thinking, shall we?

* * *

Goes back in time a few seconds. 

Inside the brain of Santa…?

* * *

I looked around me. Apparently I was on some kind of game show or something.

_In_**1**

A girl stood next to me dressed in black jeans and a blue t-shirt. She seems strange, better stay away from her…

_Out_

I looked behind me and there was a group of people all lined up. They all had Santa hats on their head. Were they "Santa's Helpers"?

_In_

Uh oh, a girl's coming towards me from that group. What does she want? I'm out of candy canes.

_Out_

She seems to like purple…Huh, she's gonna speak, act natural.

_In_

"Hello little girl, what did you want for Christmas?" I said being my regular, cool self. Thinking fast, I knew what to do. "I made my deliveries last night," I said. I'm great under pressure. I am so getting a raise for this.

_Out _

But then again, I don't want to make her upset. It's a one hour dock from the boss for every kid that leaves here crying. Better make it up to her.

_In_

"But if you were a good little gi-"

"You are NOT Santa." said the little girl. She cut me off, how rude! Stay focused, stay focused.

_Out_

"For one, Santa doesn't exist,"

Dang, she isn't a believer.

"Two, your beard is fake,"

_In_

Crap, I knew I should've gotten a better beard.

"And three, your pillows are showing." she pointed to my belly where I saw a stained pillow poking out from under my shirt.

Oh man, how embarrassing.

_Out_

Think quick, how do I make up for this, the boss'll kill me!

_In_

_Out_

_In_

_Out_

Got it!

I turned to the girl.

"You're right kid, I'm not Santa." She smirked triumphantly. Not for long.

"I, am Santa's helper." I said. Take that kid.

She frowned. "Yeah, right" she said she uncrossed her arms but remained rooted to the spot.

Ha, try correcting that kid! After all, technically I am Santa's helper…

Uh oh

_INININININ_

**Santa's brain is boring, let's go. **

* * *

Ali looked at Santa's helper with slight concern. "You okay Santa's helper?" 

Santa was looking up at the ceiling. "Wuh, oh, yeah I'm fine… I thought I heard someone say something about my bra-" "Yes, yes, ahem, anyway." Ali quickly cut off the disgruntled man.

She looked up at the camera.

"So everybody, this is Santa's helper, he's here to be not-so-secret Santa!" The crew gasped and ran forward happily all chattering about juju beans and chalk sets.

Ali cleared her throat. "For the hosts." a disappointed sigh escaped the crew's lips.

"But, for the crew's Christmas, you all get a coughslightcough raise!" more cheers from the crew.

"Alright, now move out troops!" Ali commanded. The crew saluted and walked off stage leaving Ali, 'Santa', Fulcon, and Cassie on stage.

Ali turned to Santa's helper. "Now Santa's helper, may I call you Santet?"

Santa's helper frowned. "No you may not call me 'Santet', why would you call me that anyway?"

Ali shrugged.

"Well, according to Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. (All rights reserved.), a Santa is a woman who is a saint: used as a title, usually in place names, before the name of a woman who has been made a saint. (From Spanish and Italian , a form of San "Saint")" she said matter-of-factly.

"Plus you aren't Santa, so you are a Santet." She said in a calm yet happy way.

Santet turned red. "First you say Santa is a girl, then you say a bunch of things I don't understand, and THEN you call me Santet! What do you have to say for yourself young lady?" Ali's eyes started to glow an angry white.

Fulcon stepped next to Cassie.

"Now you've done it, you made Ali mad!" he shouted angrily at the confused mortal.

"Yeah," joined Cassie. "And you know who has to take her rampage, US!"

He smirked. "Come on kids, she's what, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 10? What's she gonna do, yell at me?"

Fulcon stared to see if the man was kidding and laughed at his feeble description at what he thought was Ali's worst.

"Dude," He said choking back tears of laughter. "Do you know what Ali did to me?"

Santet raised an eyebrow. "Um, no."

Fulcon smirked. "She practically destroyed the first studio with a giant wave, stranded me AND Harry Potter on a raft in the middle of the flood with a time limit on when we had to get out, and threatened me with her mutant dog!"

Santet raised another eyebrow. "Harry Potter? Harry Potter doesn't exist." Fulcon grabbed his own brown hair in frustration. "DID YOU NOT HEAR ANYTHING I JUST SAID OTHER THEN HARRY POTTER?" He yelled.

"NO, I HEARD THE REST OF IT!" Santet yelled back. "But could you prove that Harry Potter exists?" Fulcon rolled his eyes and pointed behind him.

Harry was just standing there muttering something to himself. "there's no place like home sparemefromAli'srath, there's no place like home…"

Santet's eyebrows shot up. "Is that Daniel Radcliffe?!?" Fulcon yelled in exasperation.

"That's not the point!" He yelled.

"Then what is?" Santet yelled back.

"ALI'S GONNA DESTROY US ALL!" Cassie yelled interrupting the yelling match.

Fulcon looked at her. "Thank you." he said with a sigh.

"No seriously guys, Ali's gonna vaporize us!" she yelled again. Everyone looked at Ali who had risen into the air. "Oh crap!" yelled Fulcon. He turned his head towards Santet.

"Moron." That was his final word as the world around him submerged into a bright light.

* * *

1. He's telling himself to breathe. 

Well there you have it. Merry Christmas everyone! This was not planned, I thought of this last night and typed it out on the cpu this morning for an hour before I had to leave for Christmas stuff. Then I finished the rest a few minutes ago. I just finished this so please don't get me.

Part 2 is coming up but I'm taking new co-hosts if anyone's interested. Seriously, apply for the job. I can't finish this episode until I get a third co-host. See rules in my profile. Merry Chistmas everybody, and to all a good night. Cause it's really late.

Ali Phantom


End file.
